I can sleep all day, I can go to the zoo
I can eat ice cream, watch porn at noon
I can shit on the floor, and blame the dog
I can do what I want
Because I’m an adult
I can go anywhere that I damn well want
But it costs too much, so I’ll stay at home
I can order stuff on Amazon
But I’m too broke
Because I’m an adult
I can wake up twice in the middle of the night
Cause I have to piss, I hope my prostate’s fine
I can hang out late at the bar with friends
But I’m too tired
Because I’m an adult
I can take these drugs every single day
But they’re doc prescribed so it’s not unsafe
Wish these side effects would go away
But they probably won’t
Because I’m an adult
-
Everything I’ve ever done was all for nothing
Can’t believe I wished my life away for this
When I’m 16 or 21
I can vote, buy beer, and go to war
But I’ll probably just write stupid songs instead
-
I can watch the world turn into shit
I can tell dad jokes to my invisible kids
Kiss my wife goodnight, but she don’t exist
Cause I ain’t got shit
Because I’m an adult
If I save up now, I can probably get
A real nice hole to be buried in
But my tax returns are late again
And I’m not surprised
Because I’m an adult
I can slowly etch my legacy
On my own headstone for everyone to see
Even though they won’t remember me
Why the hell did I
Want to be an adult?
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